Japan - the land of bullet trains, exquisite temples, and steaming hot bowls of ramen. My first time there was a whirlwind post-graduation trip cobbled together by four wide-eyed twenty-somethings. We were convinced we could bullet-train our way through the entire country in two weeks and mostly subsisted on convenience store onigiri.
Since then, I’ve made many more trips to Japan, all meticulously planned down to the hour.
When I had kids a decade or so later, I yearned to share my obsession with Japanese culture with the next generation. I pictured myself taking the children on serene temple visits, appreciating the cherry blossoms and sharing hot crispy pork cutlets with them.
Last week, I finally took my 3 year old and 6 year old to Japan with my parents. (My husband had conveniently bailed on the trip because… perhaps he was the wise one…)
Turns out, wrangling two toddlers through Tokyo is less "cultural immersion" and more "wrestling a pack of sugared-up children through rush hour."
I was exhausted just from ensuring the offspring were clothed, fed and sleeping on time. My attempts at explaining the sights to the children probably fell on deaf ears.
My 3-year-old did not like being in crowds and demanded to be carried everywhere. This translated to possibly permanent lower back pains by the end of the trip.
My 6-year-old is a picky eater. Japanese delicacies were met with a wrinkled nose and a demand for pizza, pasta and fries. Thankfully, Japan's love affair with Italian food saved us, but I shed a silent tear for the Tonkatsu that never was.
My Singaporean children weren't adhering to the national volume control settings. Apparently Japanese kids talk a lot softer. We were asked multiple times to keep them quiet in a serene café at the edge of Mount Fuji. I felt bad for the other patrons, mostly retirees, who’d been trying to have a peaceful morning coffee.
My friends asked if I had fun. I contemplated this for a long while.
You do not go on trips with your kids to have “fun”. You go on trips with your kids for the experience. The experience is not necessarily fun or relaxing.
I used to ensure I would hit up at least 3-4 different sights or hot restaurants per day when I went on holiday. All that doesn’t matter anymore.
I just wanted food that my children would eat in peace and one or two sights that we could enjoy together before tempers started to fray.
My children became the main attraction. Their wonder at the array of products available at the Japanese convenience stores. Their interest in how things worked differently. Their excitement at riding the trains.
Someday, the children will leave the house, and someday, holidays will become relaxing again.
But for now, this is a different season of life. And I’m all for it.